I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Randomize
