you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
