Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
