Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
