Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
