apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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