My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Randomize
