if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
