I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
