I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
