I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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