That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
