If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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