Old men and throwing up are my life now.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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