this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
