If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
