im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Randomize
