i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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