clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
