if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
