whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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