Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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