Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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