Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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