My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
