Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
