he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
