idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize