Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
