You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize