problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
