yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
