I'm drive I can fine osifer
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
