I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
