i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
In America we eat man semen.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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