Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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