ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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