I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I checked into jail on foursquare
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Randomize
