does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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