I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I think we might need a safe word for this...
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
