there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My bed smells like the plague
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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