yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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