plz talk dirty to me
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize