I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
