you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
