you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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