i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
