Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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