Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
