Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
