Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
