Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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