He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Randomize