after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
