just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize