Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
