She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
