i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
my shit smells like andre
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
