I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize