I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
