I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
dude. I can hear the air.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
