All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
